a day in the life.


darkness dances.

Posted in Uncategorized by erin on the October 21, 2011

woods all around, fear consuming me.
darkness, the only thing in sight.
leaning on cold concrete, waiting.
there it is- the moon shines
through, sending some hope.
reading the stone, my name.
blood on my hands.
the hole they’ll place me in.
thought i was ready to go.
maybe they’ll let me stay,
a little while longer.
please.
wind whips through me now,
trees sway in anger
dancing around, judging.
tears crawl down my pale cheeks.
i’ve disappeared.

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6 Responses to 'darkness dances.'

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  1.   Prudence said,

    on October 22nd, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    I really liked that you wrote a pem abut someone who doesn’t want to pass over. I like the images of being in the grave yard at night. Very well written,

  2.   Prudence said,

    on October 22nd, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I wanted to know whrere they went when they disappeared.

  3.   margarita said,

    on October 24th, 2011 at 1:31 am

    is the “I” in this poem supposed to be you? I like this poem, it actually reminded me of the booking I’m currently reading where the protagonist is in between life and death (she’s physically in a coma though) and she has to make a choice whether to live or die.

  4.   samantha said,

    on October 25th, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    This is really good Erin. I can feel the fear in the dead speaker’s voice. The fact that she’s crying and she’s dead is dreary but sad at the same time. I like how she disappears once they put her underground.

  5.   jenny abeles said,

    on October 25th, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    There’s a well-modulated macabre voice in this poem–creepy, mysterious, and sad all at once, Erin. There’s a disappearing “I” in this poem and an uncertain “them”–the ones who put the body in the grave, the ones she hopes will allow her to stay–are they the same? It seems to me they might not be. The poem, strange as it is, demands its own internal logic. The last line is fantastic. Nothing like a narrator who vanishes, leaving us eager to know more, to hear more, to have the riddle solved. Great device!

  6.   Julie said,

    on October 26th, 2011 at 2:53 am

    I thought your peom was really good. I could see through the eyes of someone who doesn’t want to leave their mortal life behind and pass on to wherever people go when they die. The ending is really good because you’re not sure where the narrator has gone-whether they’ve passed over to an afterlife or just completely disappeared.

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