a day in the life.

study < love

Posted in Uncategorized by erin on the October 13, 2011

i should be studying.
studying for a class i shouldnt need to take.
take music, im an english major.
major changes occurring in life.
life doesnt stop for anybody.
anybody can write a poem.
poems hold the wonder of it all.
all the stars still arent as bright as your smile.
smile and wink, i feel you in my soul.
soul mates. marry me?

i love love poems. to write them, to read them- anything about them. but im just not feeling it right now. so this is what i have.

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7 Responses to 'study < love'

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  1.   Pru said,

    on October 14th, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I like it. It short and isn’t a love poem at first glance. It is a nice poem anout how you feel. Great job.

  2.   Steve Mendoza said,

    on October 17th, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Yes I also like writing poetry….just not with any guidelines on it.

    Which is why my theme for my poetry was to at least break a book I was reading INTO poetry.

    Tough to do, but i’m happy I got it done

  3.   jenny abeles said,

    on October 18th, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    hi erin. feeling it or not, you’ve written a sweet verbal exercise illustrating how the mind veers from what it “should” be doing, and step by step proceeds to the object of its desire–something anyone who’s ever been in love has experienced. The device of repeating the last word of each line in the first word of the next is curious, and really imparts the feeling of deliberate movement, a mental process ending with a question, showing that the process is by no means finished. the sense of deliberation is the opposite of passion, but instead shows us this is not a reckless question driven by passion alone. this speaker knows what is good for her and what she wants…

  4.   Richard said,

    on October 19th, 2011 at 2:31 am

    This almost seems like a free write. At first glance it just seems like you are putting thoughts to paper in an attempt to discover what you really want to write about. And isnt that what we do with all free write exercises? I see that you are worried about the school work and the majors you should be picking, but what you really want to focus on is that person whose made an appearance in your last two poems. And like ants at a picnic, you are looking for your basket.
    You mentioned having a hard time coming up with material that you are confident in (although, if this is your bad work, I cant wait to see your “good” work. your stuff is great).
    Perhaps you can do what I try to do. I write a page or two of lines I have circling in my head. Like a puzzle, I try to find lines that go with each other and come up with something new. It really is a great gateway exercise because usually the random lines will spark an idea you really think is cool and youll go with that instead.
    Hope that helps.

  5.   Richard said,

    on October 20th, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    Hey Erin. For the most part, I enjoyed reading your blog posts. Truth be told, there seems to be a little bit of mystery when it comes to you as a person. You are not the most talkative person in the world, but it seems like under that head of yours, there seems to be a lot of ideas brewing.
    I see that you are inspired a lot by The Beatles, and like I said in my first comment, they really are a great band. Music has the ability to resonate with just about every, yet have a different meaning for all. Much like your favorite band, your writing has that same ability. I feel like in reading your posts, feelings that are hard to explain within me are in some way being expressed through your writing…if that makes sense.
    Maybe I am wrong, but what I see in your writing is a lot of hurt. One thing that everyone in this world has in common is hurt. A lot of people attempt to cover it up and pretend like everything is always fine. I don’t really know why we all do it. But your writing is true to those neglected feelings. Perhaps it is a way to say things you normally wouldn’t say? Or maybe you do voice those feelings but to those close to you. Either way, it is coming up in your writing.
    It is not always bad, though. Love is also abundant in your writing. Love is another them e that comes up often, making in a appearance in your last two posts. You keep hinting at a boy you have strong feelings for. I’d like to know though, are you with this person, or is it only someone you admire from afar? You never did specifically say you were together.
    Your posts of creative non-fiction also dwell around the same themes. Come to think of it, when I put your writing hand in hand with music, I cant help but think but picture Nirvana…a group I am 100 percent certain you have listened to. I believe the phrase is teenage angst? (You can always correct me if I am wrong. I feel like a lot of what I’m saying is categorizing you as a writer). The subject is not bad at all. What I suggest is you keep working with it.
    A lot of people have trouble explaining how they feel. You don’t seem to be one of those people. Even when you are confused and it seems like you don’t have the answers, you effectively portray the confusion you are dealing with.
    Your writing has deviated a bit from its initial trajectory, but I believe that has happened to everyone. I hope, however, that you keep writing how your writing. My favorite post was your creative non-fiction love triangle. That was a pretty crazy story. And it was only like a paragraph long.

  6.   jenny abeles said,

    on October 25th, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    Is this your critique, Richard? I thought you were critiquing someone else for a minute…

    So, what do you think, Erin? What in here is helpful? I agree with Richard that you do have an emotional savviness that illuminates your writing with a resonating feeling of truth. Some people would say, “relatable,” but I’m sick of that word. And also, I don’t *want* to relate to people all the time; sometimes I want to be let in on the privacy and strangeness of someone else’s consciousness, and that’s what you do well.

  7.   erin said,

    on October 26th, 2011 at 12:08 am

    well first i have to thank richard for all these kind words. it felt good reading through his critique. i really just find it helpful to know his point of view on this poem or the story he pointed out. all the comments i receive i enjoy because i love feedback, but because his was in depth, its very helpful. i am all about the truth- the pain and the love. i enjoy being relatable to a certain extent. i want a reader to know the feeling or be able to use the words to help them. but i also enjoy keeping a distance because this is my work and mine alone. no two people have the exact same experiences and life events, so it is important people understand its coming from me and from my life. i really enjoyed that richard pointed out im mysterious and then mentioned music. i love both of those m words. im just a big fan of his critique because i know a lot of work can be done on all my writing, but its nice to read his outside opinions and questions. and i am a big nirvana fan..

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